Past Love
By David Yanez
Many of you may fit into this scenario: you have someone tucked away in the back of your mind who means something special to you—someone who meant a lot to you years ago. Every now and then, you pause for a few minutes to wonder him or her. Where is he? What is he doing now? Is she happy? Did she ever get married? Does she wonder about me? These questions are just a few that may flit across your mind. You may be in a relationship with someone whom you’re madly in love with today. You’re happy with whom you chose to spend the rest of your life building a family. You may enjoy every part of your life to this point. So why do you think of that long-ago person? Why does he or she just pop up in your mind from time to time? Why are you still interested in his or her well-being?
Are these thoughts wrong? Is this fair to your current relationship? Should you feel a bit guilty? All these questions have different answers for different people and situations. So before I give you those answers, let me ask a question. Why does this person haunt you? Why is he or she imprinted into the back of your mind? Why, after all these years, do you still care? I believe because at one time your love was pure, uncontaminated, and untainted by life. You genuinely loved him or her with all your heart. You may have even planned a future together at one time. This person was to be the one with whom you expected to spend the rest of your life.
Always on my mind...
Do memories of that old flame flare up when you are doing something or about to do something you thought you would be doing with him or her? Maybe you’re about to have a baby. Maybe you’re reaching a certain age you expected to be with him or her. Maybe you just took a vacation to an exotic place. Or you could be buying your first house. Whatever it is, you always thought you would be with this other person at this point in your life. These are
101a few reasons he or she stays on your mind. To put it simply, you still daydream about having a life with your “first love.” That’s why this image seems stapled onto your forehead at certain times.
You should feel guilty only if you do something to evolve your daydream to reality. If you try to hunt down this person to set up a secret rendezvous, you have a problem. Any innocent meeting can result in an opportunity to have an affair. Any time you act out a fantasy or dream outside your marriage, it becomes a sin. Your loyalty belongs to your spouse, unconditionally. Simply put, God doesn’t share us with any other; why should our spouse have to? You are one with your spouse no matter who comes back from the past. No matter what you shared with your old flame, it’s in the past. No matter how familiar you were with that person, it’s still the past.
No matter what you do to not think about this person, it will be impossible to stop. He or she will always be in the back of your mind. That’s okay! As long as you keep your past loves there—in the past.
Don’t feel guilty
As long as you keep your past love in the back of your mind and don’t try to build a romance with him or her, you can be guilt free. At one time, this person meant the world to you, so it’s natural to have a general concern. Remember to keep the concern in its place at all times. Know where you’re at today. They enemy wants you to be tempted. Wondering is natural, but don’t try to insert this person into your spouse’s place. The fantasy always looks better than reality. And the reality is, that old relationship didn’t work out.
Yes. You may have been in love. Something about that person was extra special and touched your heart. Deep down, you have a spot for them that won’t easily go away. But eventually, my friend, you need to let it go.
